Honor & Injustice
by dmasengl
Summary: This is an alternate ending to the book Notes From Underground. In this piece the issue of the main character's sense of honor is addressed more fully than I feel it was in the original work. In short, Vengeance is MINE! Well, ok...Not mine, personally. I


**Honor & Injustice**

**Chapter 8**

The next morning Mr. Golyadkin followed his normal routine. He woke at 8 AM to ready himself for the work day. Noticing that his companion was gone, he himself made his way out to the office. On his way in, his counterpart met him at the door.

Our hero greeted his guest with the courtesy of any other of his fellows, "Good morning, Yakov Petrovich."

"Good morning," said the second Golyadkin. "If you'll excuse me," he continued, "I must be off now. I have been handed a very special mission. As it is my first week here, I do not wish to dishonor his Excellency's appointment. Good day."

"Good day…" replied our hero with hesitation. 'What is this?' he thought. 'Special mission? What is this special mission? In his first week here? How could he be trusted with something so important? Let me just see what this is all about!'

Mr. Golyadkin, with all due respect to his superiors intended to find out just what was going on. What this special mission could be and why his new acquaintance had been trusted with a matter of such importance, rather than he or one of his long trusted colleagues. After all they had all worked to so hard to gain the trust of his Excellency. 'How could a simple man come in and immediately earn their respect and trust?' Our hero approached Anton Antonovich with the stature of an honorable employee, giving him all due respect.

"Anton Antonovich, How is it with you this morning?" Mr. Golyadkin politely opened.

"It is a fine morning. Things seem to be running smoothly." Anton Antonovich politely replied. "But tell me Yakov Petrovich, have you finished those documents for his Excellency?"

"Yes, Anton Antonovich, but before that business…"

Anton Antonovich cut our hero off at this…"Well then, where are they? His Excellency has been asking for them. Bring them at once."

"Immediately sir, but first I should like to speak with you about a matter that concerns me. It is about the new charge, Mr. Golyadkin." Our hero asserted.

"Yes, I know. The gentleman with your same name. He was appointed by his Excellency. The poor wretch simply needed a chance. He's a good man that Mr. Golyadkin," Anton Antonovich gloated.

"At any rate sir," our hero continued, "It has come to my attention that he is at this moment on special mission for His Excellency. I demand to know how this could be. How is it that all of your esteemed employees here are not trusted to the extent of this new? Have we not earned your respect and trust?" Mr. Golyadkin inquired.

"I assure you Yakov Petrovich, that you are not in the least being pushed aside. It is a simple matter really. And did not merit your being distracted while the document for his Excellency we have been discussing was as yet unfinished." Anton Antonovich explained.

'This seems like an honest, and valid, reason. I'm sure it was nothing. But I will keep my eye on that scoundrel in case,' our hero reflected privately.

"Now about those papers, " reminded Anton Antonovich, "His Excellency would like to see them at once."

"Yes sir, Anton Antonovich," Mr. Golyadkin said shuffling around his desk for the required document.

Finding them in perfect order the way he'd left them, Mr. Golyadkin headed for the office of His Excellency. As it happened Mr. Golyadkin Junior appeared back from his "special mission." Stopping Mr. Golyadkin Senior at the door he began to pick up the conversation he so quickly abandoned before.

"I'm sorry to have run off so quickly earlier…" he excused himself.

"It is alright. To be honest, now I must do the same. I'm off to the office of his Excellency with these papers he requires of me." Mr. Golyadkin shuffling through the papers began to walk away. "If you'll excuse me," he politely began to retreat.

Golyadkin Junior again stopped him in his tracks. "It appears to me that some of your pages are out of order. Just allow me to help you rearrange them."

'The impotence!' thought our hero. 'How dare he question my skills!' Golyadkin thought sifting through the papers. But before he could question much more, his enemy picked up the papers and walked briskly with them toward the office of His Excellency. Mr. Golyadkin Senior quickly composed himself and ran after the thief. "Stop you scoundrel!" he screamed as he followed him at his heels. Anton Antonovich met him at the door.

"You mustn't interrupt," he informed Mr. Golyadkin. "Mr. Golyadkin is having a meeting with His Excellency of great importance."

"Don't you know me?" Golyadkin protested. "It is I who should be meeting with His Excellency this minute. I demand you let me in!"

Golyadkin Senior pushed his way through the door. Finding his enemy sitting at the table with His Excellency, Golyadkin Senior gave him a cold and decisive stare. 'You I will deal with later.' Now addressing himself to His Excellency he made his most earnest attempt to apologize for the mishap.

"Your Excellency, I must apologize for barging in so, but this man is an imposter. He has stolen these documents, in front of my own eyes. You must dismiss him at once." Mr. Golyadkin Senior explained.

"Young man, I'm not sure who you are, but you have just interrupted a very important meeting and insulted my valued employee. However, since you have shown respect in your speech I shall excuse the matter if you leave at once."

Golyadkin, in shock, left the office with a look of bewilderment on his face. 'How could not my own employer know me? How could he take this imposter for the genuine?' Mr. Golyadkin Senior sat, brooding at his desk while the meeting continued in his Excellency's office.

Finally, as the meeting came to a close, Mr. Golyadkin Junior came strutting out of the office. Obviously satisfied with his little bit of trickery, he grinned from ear to ear. 'How dare he take advantage of my goodness and that of my acquaintances,' thought Golyadkin Senior. 'We have shown nothing but support for this poor wretch and this is how he repays us.'

Just at this moment Anton Antonovich came to the desk of Golyadkin Junior to congratulate him on a job well done. His Excellency was very pleased with Golyadkin's work. "This could mean big things for you Golyadkin."

**Chapter 9**

Golyadkin waited impatiently for the end of the day, when he could confront this scoundrel face to face on his own turf. As they waited for their coats at the end of the afternoon, Golyadkin Senior boiled with anger still. He got his coat and shoved down the stair through the crowd, following the silhouette of his adversary. He walked faster and faster as he followed, soon breaking into a run. He ran with his eyes focused on Golyadkin Junior, not paying any attention to the direction he was running in. Golyadkin Junior then ran into a restaurant where Golyadkin Senior had dined often.

As Mr. Golyadkin entered and sat at a table he saw that Golyadkin Junior sat himself at a table very nearby. He courteously invited his counterpart to sit with him and dine. The offer was accepted. Golyadkin now assumed he had the upper hand.

"Yakov Petrovich, I know we are both civilized men and can resolve this matter as such. I have opened my home and my heart to you. I have shown you many kindnesses. But your actions today were inexcusable. I can not discount what you did today as a mere misunderstanding. It is evident to me sir, that you intend to use me as a stepping stone for your own advancement. I shall not allow this. Not now, not ever! Do you understand me?"

The Second Golyadkin simply looked at him with disdain. "I did not intend, my good friend, to insult you. I simply aimed to be sure that everything was in its proper place. If I offended you in any way, I apologize. On my life."

As Mr. Golyadkin Senior looked into the eyes of his companion he felt a small pity for the poor wretch. The two ate and drank to their fill and stood from the table to be on their way. As he arose, Golyadkin Senior realized he may have had a bit too much to drink. He could barely make it to the counter to receive the bill. Once he had received the bill however, he suddenly realized it was far more than he'd expected. Even on his most intoxicated nights. He always ordered the same meal. As he examined the bill he realized the difference tonight. Golyadkin Junior had added himself to the bill and had taken full advantage of this fact. How the man ate so much is beyond anything Golyadkin Senior could comprehend. He turned to demand that his companion pay for his portion of the meal, but later found that he was gone. Golyadkin tossed the waitress her money and ran frantically out the door to catch the swine who had again taken advantage of him. As he ran through the streets, the rain beating against his hat, he realized the scoundrel was nowhere to be found. He would never find him in this weather at this time of night. Our hero then decides it best to simply retire for the night. 'I will deal with him tomorrow.'

**Chapter 10**

As is his routine, Mr. Golyadkin woke at 8AM and prepared himself for the day. He shaved, dressed, and combed his hair. He was again off to the office. He arrived at his desk to the smiling face of Mr. Golyadkin Junior, who had very obviously been waiting for his arrival.

"Good morning, Yakov Petrovich," the second said with a smile. "And how was your night?"

"You know very well how my night was you…" Mr. Golyadkin began to scold him, but caught himself. 'I must maintain a professional, respectful demeanor here.' He thought to himself. 'Even if this wretch is not attempting to do the same, I am a man of honor. What will everyone think if I lash out? Not to mention that I simply could not live with myself for making such a scene. '"Well, I must be getting to my papers for the day," he excused himself from the awkward, and obviously forced, conversation. He offered his hand in respect. Golyadkin Junior loosely shook his hand and proceeded to turn back to his desk. Before he could get there though, Mr. Golyadkin saw him pull a handkerchief from his pocket and wipe his hands, less than conspicuously. This outraged him. 'How dare he insult me in such a manner? This man must be stopped at all costs.'

Our hero sat at his desk that work day plotting his revenge. Looking across the desk at his adversary he simply became more and more angry. His blood boiled as the minutes passed.

Finally, the clock struck four and it was time to leave for the day. There was no time for a chase today, and no need. Mr. Golyadkin had a plan. And there wasn't a moment to lose. He would fix this scoundrel once and for all.

When he arrived back at his flat he noticed a letter on the table that was not there before. Perhaps it had come during the day and Petrushka had brought it in. He opened it and realized it was from his lover Clara Olsufyevna.

**Chapter 12**

According to her letter, Clara had been kept captive by her father. He had, seeing so many wonderful characteristics in Mr. Golyadkin Junior, promised her hand to him. As she knew he was not the true Yakov Petrovich whom she loved, she begged Golyadkin Senior to find a way to save her from this wretch. If he could find a way to do so she promised to be indebted to him for all of her days. She promised to love him always. It was her dream that they could escape all of this turmoil to someplace all their own.

As Golyadkin packed his bags and prepared himself to leave his old home forever, he thought for a second about the scoundrel who was the cause of all of this. His revenge would be sweeter than he had planned. Not only would he be able to watch the miserable wretch suffer, but he will deny him the one great victory. He would not allow this imposter to steal his love.

After gathering his belongings, our hero went to the street to find a carriage. He offered the cabby five rubles to take him to the place where Clara Olsufyevna's letter said she was being held. Upon arriving there, he saw another carriage there. Stopping the cabby outside the gate, he slipped in unseen to see what was going on. Out of this other carriage stepped a man who looked remarkably like himself. This man ran to the doors of the dwelling and entered. From the distance he was at our hero could not see into the building, but heard the stricken voice of a woman, it sounded as though she were begging for her life.

'This must be my beloved Clara. What the devil is going on?'

He crept closer to get a better look. Through a side door he could see the man who had recently entered, and Clara Olsufyevna. The man turn slightly into the light, showing his face. It was our hero's face. But not his own. This man had a wild look in his eye. One of pure hatred.

Sitting in the darkness fearing what may happen to his love; our hero contemplated his next move. He could not let anything happen to her. On his honor or his head, she would be spared. When the moment was right he stepped into a dark corner, unnoticed by the stranger. Clara noticed his presence, but said nothing. Though the fear in her eyes spoke to Mr. Golyadkin.

Feeling her pain, and for the first time in ages his heart soften for her, our hero stepped out into the light. Although he could simply have surprised his opponent with a stab in the back and easily won the fight. Golyadkin knew that this was an act of treachery. One with which he could not live. If he had done this he would no longer deserve the love of the peerless Clara, or even breathe of life itself.

"It is time that this came to an end my worthy opponent," our hero stated with conviction to his enemy. "You have caused me far too much anguish and now you shall pay the price." Golyadkin pushed Clara aside and took hold of the knife he had stowed in his waistband. Charging after his opponent with all the strength in his body he managed to take him to the ground. Though only for a second. The two struggled and pulled at each other fighting for control of the blade. He gained control and managed to stab his opponent right through the heart. Standing there watching as he bled to death, our hero did not feel like such a hero after all. Although he had saved Clara and ended the wrongs to be done by this monster. He had let things go to far. 'How did it come to this?' he thought to himself. 'How did I let it get so polluted?' Looking into the frightened eyes of Clara Olsufyevna our hero realized what had been happening all long.

'How had he let himself turn so dark? How could be possibly go back to his life as he knew it? There was no way.' And so, as he fled with Clara Olsufyevna into the country he could not face her. In his honorable person, he knew she was now his responsibility. He must provide for her now. This as such. He did not feel he deserved to live with her as her equal. Finding a house with a large underground basement, our hero retreated to this space only receiving food from Clara. Here he brooded on the events of this epoch and began to write…


End file.
